forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
