I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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