Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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