Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
