Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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