It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
