this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
