I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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