Screwed.edu
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
