i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
