I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
