i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
