Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
