I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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