his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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