Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
