i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Randomize
