he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
