Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
