he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
