vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
