What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
