Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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