my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
