this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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