We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
