Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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