Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I CAN MOONWALK!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
