just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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