You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
