Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
