Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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