I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
