If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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