Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
