PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
