I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
