I just made out with a guy for $7.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
