I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
