never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
