Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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