there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
