So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
