Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
