i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
