i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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