Three words: puerto rican gang bang
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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