i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Well I just put wine in my tea
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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