"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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