brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
