I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Enjoy the penises
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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