she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
