i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You took a bar mat shot.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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