Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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