did you get engaged???
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
