I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Tell her she can't have a vagina
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
