I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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